What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

How can one select funeral songs that truly celebrate the essence of a loved one’s life while providing comfort to attendees?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why did you put a guy’s dick in your mouth the first time?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How do so-called Religious/Christian people really think homosexuality is even a sin? That would be nonsense. In fact, LGBT people need love instead of contempt/hatred. The word Homosexual didn't appear until the 1850s.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How do I become an intelligent man?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How can MeTV Toons compete with other national broadcast TV networks?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What is the best way to get over your ex?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What are "demonic attacks" and how can one tell when they're happening to them, or someone else? How would one go about dealing with it?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is quantum entanglement?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Make Nazis afraid again!

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